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Twinings Lemon Drizzle Green Tea – WHAT were they thinking!?

Twinings Lemon Drizzle Green Tea - Reviewed by If Teacups Could Talk...Brand: Twinings

Flavour: Lemon Drizzle Green Tea

Ingredients: Green tea, lemon and cake flavouring (4%), natural flavourings, lemon peel (1%)

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: Unknown

Price Range: £2.69

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: Weird, weird, WEIRD. You know that seriously fake-tasting children’s birthday cake that can only come from a box of cheap cake mix? You know what we mean. If you made a cake from scratch, you would NEVER manage to recreate that unique flavour that you loved so much as a child, but now it probably tastes faintly disgusting. We have no idea what goes into those mixes to give them that taste – but it’s somehow in this tea.

It starts in the smell: lemon cake…the cheap ‘yuck’ kind. Like Lemon Puffs: cheap biscuits filled with artificial lemon-flavoured cream. The taste is equally unpleasant: initially fresh, like lemon peel and green tea – then a shocking aftertaste that is just like that children’s birthday cake mix, mingled with a horrible bitterness from the green tea.

This is quite simply one of the most disgusting things we have ever tasted. Why did ANYONE think this was a good idea? When has anyone ever had cheap cake and thought, ‘I know what would make this better: soaking it in green tea!’ Was it someone’s misguided idea to try to get kids to drink tea, not considering that it might keep them up all night? WHO voluntarily buys a whole box of this stuff and happily drinks it?

If you’re reading this, Twinings, there is no excuse for this blend. NO EXCUSE.  We’re marking this one as an AVOID.

Best time of year to drink this: NEVER.

Best time of day to drink this: NEVER.


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Twinings Fudge Melts Green Tea – Boring with a Bad Aftertaste

Twinings Fudge Melts Green Tea - Reviewed by If Teacups Could Talk...Brand: Twinings

Flavour: Fudge Melts Green Tea

Ingredients: Green tea, natural flavouring (8%), natural vanilla flavouring with other natural flavourings

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: Unknown

Price Range: £2.69

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: As you would expect, the smell is fudgy…and sort of green tea-y.  Tasting it, the flavour is almost entirely green tea, with a very faint hint of artificial vanilla that lingers long afterward.  This provides just enough sweetness to take away the bitter edge of the actual tea, although it leaves you wondering what you can do to take away that taste of flavouring.  Then there’s a citric acid-like kick at the back of the throat – a sort of sourness, almost like grapefruit.  Bizarre.

You might have noticed something missing from that description: fudge.  We couldn’t taste it at all.  Far from being the gross-fest we anticipated, this blend is, at best, boring with a bad aftertaste.  You may as well buy plain green tea.  Besides, why does anyone drink green tea, other than to feel healthy?  All that flavouring defeats the purpose.  If you really want a chocolatey drink without the calories, there are plenty of better infusions made with real cocoa shells.

Best time of year to drink this: If you must…maybe winter.

Best time of day to drink this: After lunch.


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Twinings Chocolate Coconut Green Tea – A Bounty Bar with Health Benefits

Twinings Chocolate Coconut Green Tea - Reviewed by If Teacups Could Talk...Brand: Twinings

Flavour: Chocolate Coconut Green Tea

Ingredients: Green tea, cocoa nibs (10%), chocolate and coconut flavourings (10%), natural flavourings, dessicated coconut (1%)

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: Unknown

Price Range: £2.69

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: Another bizarre-sounding concoction from Twinings in an effort to make cheap green tea more palatable.

The smell is intensely sweet, with the overpowering aroma of artificial coconut – like a Bounty bar, full of sugar. There is just the faintest hint of cocoa, and the green tea smell is entirely absent.

Unsurprisingly, the actual taste of the green tea is subtle. This blend is not bitter at all. Happily, it’s not as sweet as we expected, either. There is a faint taste of cocoa on your first sip, but it quickly disappears. And then there’s that artificial coconut flavour, which is not as strong as we thought it would be, but it does linger long after you’ve finished the cup.

There were mixed feelings about this blend. Ginger Tea said, ‘I could drink this – I never thought I would say that.’ Three Tulsi’s son tried it and said, ‘I don’t know why you’d want to drink this.’

So maybe it comes down to how much you love Bounty bars. If they’re your thing, and you’d like the health benefits of green tea without actually having to taste it, then this might be for you.

Best time of year to drink this: Summer, maybe.

Best time of day to drink this: After lunch.


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Twinings Cherry Bakewell Green Tea – Like Drinking Marzipan

Twinings Cherry Bakewell Green Tea - Reviewed by If Teacups Could Talk...Brand: Twinings

Flavour: Cherry Bakewell Green Tea

Ingredients: Green tea, natural cherry flavouring with other natural flavourings (10%), natural vanilla flavouring with other natural flavourings (2%)

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: Unknown

Price Range: £2.69

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: We read out the name of this tea to Three Tulsi’s mother. She said, ‘Ewwww, that sounds disgusting!’ And she’s right. It doesn’t help, either, that it genuinely smells like mould spores, when you brew it – mould spores and marzipan – or maybe a damp dishcloth that’s been left a long time…that was used to clean up after making something with marzipan. (We’re really selling this, yes?)

Thankfully, it doesn’t quite taste like that. It’s almost entirely marzipan (strongly so), and there’s a bit of green tea flavour underneath, but no dishcloth or mould spores. Sadly, no cherry, either. There is strangely no aftertaste, and it has a nice smooth finish. So it’s not as awful as we expected. It’s just…why would anyone want to drink marzipan!?

We offered some to Three Tulsi’s son, who described it as: ‘zingy – not too much flavour, but it’s quite nice…but it’s doing things to my tongue, now…oh! No no no no.’

All in all, if you really love marzipan, this might be a good, healthy sweet treat after lunch to get you through the rest of the day. If (like us) you think marzipan belongs on a cake, not in a cup, maybe give this one a miss.

Best time of year to drink this: Hard to say…autumn?

Best time of day to drink this: After lunch.


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Twinings Moroccan Mint – Green Tea Without the Bitter Edge

Twinings Moroccan MintBrand: Twinings

Flavour: Moroccan Mint

Ingredients: Green tea, spearmint (30%), natural cardamom flavouring, other natural flavourings

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: Uncertain

Price Range: £1.50

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: The aroma of this blend is very earthy.  You can really smell the young tea leaves, as well as the strong wakeful scent of spearmint.  It’s a bit like an Extra chewing gum, but with a hint of green.

The taste is similar.  We think it’s an excellent alternative if you want to get into green tea for detox reasons, but find it too bitter.  It’s great for waking up in the morning, not just because of the caffeine hit, but also because of that refreshing feeling in your mouth after you drink it.  For that reason, we also recommend it after lunch, to cleanse the palate and revive you for the afternoon.

Best time of year to drink this: A great all-year-rounder.

Best time of day to drink this: Mornings (to wake you up) and after lunch (to refresh your mouth).


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Twinings Green Tea & Salted Caramel – A Failed Attempt at Trendiness

Twinings Green Tea & Salted CaramelBrand: Twinings

Flavour: Green Tea & Salted Caramel

Ingredients: Green tea, natural flavouring (7%)

Caffeine Factor: Caffeinated

Organic Ingredients: Uncertain

Price Range: £1.50

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: We know what you’re thinking: Yuck! But you’re wrong – because there just isn’t enough flavour to inspire that reaction.

The smell is not unpleasant – a bit like toffee, as you would expect.  The water even looks toffee-coloured, when brewed.  But there is no toffee flavour, when you drink it.  There’s a slight,  hint of fake caramel that definitely hasn’t been salted.  At least that cuts some of the natural bitterness of the green tea.  But overall, this blend is a bit…wishy-washy, with a strong artificial aftertaste.

This blend really isn’t the sweet treat it proposes to be.  The best we can say for it is that it isn’t vile – in fact, it gets more tolerable as you drink it – but it’s pretty pointless.  We don’t know what Twinings were thinking, with this one.  They obviously tried to cash in on the recent craze for salted caramel, but sticking it in green tea is certainly one of the odder concoctions we’ve come across.

We offered it to Three Tulsi’s son. He said, ‘No – I feel sick, and this will not help.’

Best time of year to drink this: Autumn / winter.

Best time of day to drink this: Mornings (to wake you up).  Despite its name, this infusion won’t satisfy afternoon sweet cravings, so don’t bother.


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Twinings Intensely Buttermint – Don’t Take It Off the Market, Again!

Twinings Intensely ButtermintBrand: Twinings

Flavour: Intensely Buttermint

Ingredients: Peppermint, natural mint flavouring (7.5%), natural vanilla and other flavourings (5%)

Caffeine Factor: Caffeine-free

Organic Ingredients: 100%

Price Range: £1.69

Bags Per Box: 20

Review: As soon as you brew this one, you are hit with an aroma not unlike Murray Mints or a kind of minty butterscotch.  The strong peppermint oil scent immediately wakes up your senses, opens your sinuses just as well as any menthol treatment, and refreshes you.

Drinking it is just as refreshing an experience.  The main ingredient being peppermint, this is a great one to have after a meal, as a natural digestive aid, and to cleanse the palate.

That said, good peppermint can be quite strong, and that’s where the ‘butter’ comes in.  There is a creamy, ever-so-slightly sweet taste of vanilla buried in there, softening the mint without becoming too sugary, somehow creating a light butterscotch flavour.  It’s sort of like having a pudding, but without the heaviness.  It is also quite a substantial tea, filling your mouth and stomach and stopping you from reaching for unhealthy snacks.

For anyone who is fond of peppermint tea with sugar, this is a much healthier option.  It’s also simply delicious.  For all these reasons, we have marked it a must-have tea.  Twinings briefly removed it from the market, but brought it back due to popular demand.  Let’s hope they don’t get silly again, in future!

Best time of year to drink this: A great all-year-rounder

Best time of day to drink this: Mornings (to wake you up), after meals (to aid digestion) and late afternoon when you’re tempted to start snacking


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